![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
millieanneLivejournal didn't really pan out, and Wordpress is so painfully paywalled, so... here we go!
My mom is having a heart catheterization next week. About a month ago she was worried she was having a heart attack — luckily, it wasn't, but she's been having a lot of cardiac tests done. The cardiologist had her do a stress test. While they're not totally accurate (the nurse said 70-80%), the test showed she may have some plaque in her arteries.
I won't lie, I'm worried. Both my parents have been having more health problems over the last few years. Which makes sense, they're getting older, but... it still feels so weird. I'm having to think about what would happen to me if they were gone. Hopefully that won't be for a very long time. But I'm really having to contend with mortality again.
I guess that's part of what's pushed me back to trying religion again. That, and thinking about my grandmother, and how disappointed she'd be to see I have been an atheist since she died 13 years ago. I've been going to an Episcopalian church because while the service is very traditional, the values are progressive, which I really like.
I bought a new Bible as well. My grandmother's friend (I guess a god-grandfather to me, it's hard to describe) left me his when he died, but it's falling apart, so I don't want to take it anywhere. I look at it and it makes me a bit sad, too. Like, I've let all these people down for not believing in God. But I'm trying to approach religion from a new POV, one not riddled by guilt. I've been trying to focus on hope.
Do I think I'll actually be Christian ever again? That's hard to say. But I do like going out and talking to everyone there. And I've been feeling very moved by the sermons. The rector at the church I've been attending denounced white nationalism and Zionism at the very first Eucharist I went to, so that gives me a lot of hope that there ARE good Christians still. I guess that's another reason I started going to church — to see if there really were good Christians left.
The pattern is the Bell Blossom sweater, by Savannah Price (or savannah.stitches). I'm very happy with the result BUT... I'm already considering remaking it. I can already see lots of little imperfections, and I should have made a size up. But c'est la vie. Like I said, I really am happy with the result. Maybe I'll give this smaller result to my sister. And I learned a LOT about constructing garments.
So that's been life recently!
Thanks for reading, if anyone is reading this.
My mom is having a heart catheterization next week. About a month ago she was worried she was having a heart attack — luckily, it wasn't, but she's been having a lot of cardiac tests done. The cardiologist had her do a stress test. While they're not totally accurate (the nurse said 70-80%), the test showed she may have some plaque in her arteries.
I won't lie, I'm worried. Both my parents have been having more health problems over the last few years. Which makes sense, they're getting older, but... it still feels so weird. I'm having to think about what would happen to me if they were gone. Hopefully that won't be for a very long time. But I'm really having to contend with mortality again.
I guess that's part of what's pushed me back to trying religion again. That, and thinking about my grandmother, and how disappointed she'd be to see I have been an atheist since she died 13 years ago. I've been going to an Episcopalian church because while the service is very traditional, the values are progressive, which I really like.
I bought a new Bible as well. My grandmother's friend (I guess a god-grandfather to me, it's hard to describe) left me his when he died, but it's falling apart, so I don't want to take it anywhere. I look at it and it makes me a bit sad, too. Like, I've let all these people down for not believing in God. But I'm trying to approach religion from a new POV, one not riddled by guilt. I've been trying to focus on hope.
Do I think I'll actually be Christian ever again? That's hard to say. But I do like going out and talking to everyone there. And I've been feeling very moved by the sermons. The rector at the church I've been attending denounced white nationalism and Zionism at the very first Eucharist I went to, so that gives me a lot of hope that there ARE good Christians still. I guess that's another reason I started going to church — to see if there really were good Christians left.
Anyway, I've finished a medium crochet project recently. I wore it this weekend.
The pattern is the Bell Blossom sweater, by Savannah Price (or savannah.stitches). I'm very happy with the result BUT... I'm already considering remaking it. I can already see lots of little imperfections, and I should have made a size up. But c'est la vie. Like I said, I really am happy with the result. Maybe I'll give this smaller result to my sister. And I learned a LOT about constructing garments.
So that's been life recently!
Thanks for reading, if anyone is reading this.
